Self-Indulgence

I wanted to publish this post for my birthday last week, but my 16 year old kitty, Samantha got sick and I shelved the post for the moment.  While she is now feeling better, we are still 300 more road miles and one diagnostic procedure away from knowing the whole story. 

Despite the fact that this is my blog, I try to keep things in check and avoid narcissism .  Well, today I caved.  As it was my birthday last week, I decided to write a post that engages in some Self-Indulgence.    

Is it self-indulgent that I bought a new dress and wanted to share the ensemble with you?
No!
Well, maybe. 

Is it self-indulgent that I'm splashing photos of myself in said new dress over the internet? 
No!
Well, perhaps. 

Is it self-indulgent that I'm wearing false eyelashes and blue glitter eyeliner?

Definitely.

So, here's the story behind this post.  I'll be honest: I haven't been motivated to shift the weight that I gained on my trip over the holidays (post will be up by Easter, promise!) My pants are tight and I'm not comfortable.  As someone who has lost a lot of weight, there is always a fear inside me that one day I could gain it all back.  When I've gained any weight I think:  "Perhaps this is the beginning of a slippery slope?"

Here is why this post is really self-indulgent.  It's because today, I'm practicing Self-Acceptance.  And for me, that is self-indulgent.  I'm posting photos of myself even though I'm not at my 'happy weight.'  I am accepting myself right now.  Today.  Or at least I'm trying.

Also, while, leggings and flouncy dresses are my current BFFs,  I'm giving myself the gift of Patience.  And that, too, is self-indulgent for me.  I'm not trying to stress about the weight gain too much, despite the fact that it does, in fact, bother me.

So here it is: indulge me the self indulgence...

The Dress:

I scored this O'Neill dress at Becker Surf Shop in Malibu for $20 on sale.  No doubt it is intended for a teenage (I am not) surfer girl (I am not) who is fond of big, roomy dresses (I am).

It even has pockets:  perfect for a phone, some zinc oxide and the keys to your jeep.

The tank top:

No idea where I got it:  I have a slight tank top obsession and own one in nearly every color.  I feel naked unless I wear one alone, doubled up, under t-shirts, or under very low-cut surfergirl dresses.

The tights:

I found these at Tesco Superstore near London's Heathrow airport for £1,99.  It's just like a SuperTarget where you can buy your knickers and your Snickers all in one trip. Love.

The Boots:

Ah, the boots...

I realize that this dress begs for flip flops or if it's below 70F, some UGG boots.  But when I bought this dress, it was raining and I am the last person on the planet without UGG boots.  

Therefore, I went with what I the next obvious choice:  Cowboy boots.  But these are no ordinary cowboy boots.  These boots are older than many of my readers. I bought them brand new when I was 15 years old at (now kaput) Howard & Phil's Western Store in the Glendale Galleria.  In 6 months I may look at this outfit and say "What was I thinking?"  Plus, I have no idea if western boots are even popular right now.  But, I do know that I wear these boots every chance I get.

These photos were taken in Palm Springs, California with Mount San Jacinto in the background.

And with the stress of last week, one thing is certain: Next week, I'm booking a much-needed, truly self-indulgent massage.

Speaking of self-affirming messages, check out this Operation Beautiful Post (a couple of my favorite fuzzy people are pictured). And if you haven't yet bought your copy of the book Operation Beautiful, I highly recommend that you do.  That is not because my Dad and I are featured, but because it is a very moving book with wonderful messages.

Edited to add:  SAMANTHA is GREAT!  We got the diagnosis of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (aren't you glad I shared?) rather than the more ominous Intestinal Lymphoma aka cancer.  Thank GAWWWWWD and thank you all for your sweet comments, tweets etc.  We're over the moon! :-)

Q:  What have you done lately that is self-indulgent?  Are you patient and accepting of yourself? Have you ever posted an OB note?

"Cat-tus interruptus" or "The Birthday Post that wasn't"

Attention!  Attention!  This blog silence is being broken to let you know that there will be more blog silence.

I have been planning a totally different sort of post (hint: not a smoothie in sight) and I wanted to have it up for my birthday... that's today.  I also wanted to post about my holiday trip to Iceland & the UK and some fun meetups (Tamzin, Eden and Carrie). None of those are happening today.  My 'birthday post' would require me to get somewhat dolled up and I am just not in that frame of mind at this moment.

You see, we have two furry children. Samantha will be 16 in February and we've had her from the start.  She is 'old', but I refuse to accept it or believe it.  When I look at her, I see a young, cheeky cat. When something is amiss with either of our cats, I shift into overdrive and worry myself sick. 

Does this look like a 16 yr old?

Let's just summarize the situation:  48 hours, 300 road miles, 10 barfs, a normal veterinary exam & normal x-ray later, we are still unsure if there is anything really wrong with Samantha, or if she's just a bad kitty who likes to eat plastic and chew on wires.  One minute she seems totally normal.  The next, not so much.  Up.  Down.  Emotional.  Rollercoaster.

Due to the fact that I have to get back to my hand-wringing,  I will simply leave you with a few photos...

While this photo looks like it's from the 70's, Samantha is not quite that old.

Cheeky- what is it with cats and sinks?

Silly sausage

I have let Samantha get away with murder for 16 years. Ellie is not allowed on tables or countertops (unfair? Yup.)

Consoling Sam on our way to the vet.

Ellie isn't allowed on countertops, but she can run amok in the car. Don't question my parenting.  It's my dictatorship, darn it.

Are we there yet?

Does this look like a sick cat to you?  She's felling well enough to chew the USB cable. Bad kitty.

This is Sam five minutes ago.  She demanded a brushie. She purred. All was well. Then she puked. Again. I need Ativan.

EDITED TO ADD: 1/23/11 Update:  Sam seems to be back to normal, but as you can imagine, we'll be on top of her health with followup exams etc.  You can imagine that I'd like to keep her healthy for the next 16 years <3 Thanks for all of your well-wishes!

EDITED TO THE EDITED TO ADD WITH THE ADDITION OF MORE EDITING:  1/24/11 Update:  After consulting with a local vet today, we are going to make the 300 mile trip for a diagnostic procedure.  Sam is stable, but not back to normal. Now where did I put that Ativan?

Final Edit to add (I hope):  1/28/11 Diagnostics are in and the winner is:  Inflammatory Bowel Disease.  This was the preferred 'illness' to the intestinal lymphoma, aka cancer that it might have been.  Thank you all for your well-wishes.  Sam is now on meds and is feeling fine!

Q:  Do you worry yourself sick when your pets are sick?

It's a new year... do you want to get your smoothie on? (Video)

Happy New year everyone!  I'm dying to get my (late) holiday post up but due to a series of circumstances and running around like mad, it'll have to wait until next week.  Meanwhile, I was able to shoot a 3 minute video about why I get my smoothie on and why I whole-heartedly believe in smoothies for weight loss and weight management.

As you can read in my weight loss story, I have tried balanced 'real' breakfasts:  eggs, nut butters, oats, cereals, the works.  They don't usually really fill me up very well and I find that I'm hungry all day long (even after eating lunch).  Smoothies, on the other hand, have a way of tempering my hunger for the whole day.  Perhaps it's the huge, fluffy, icy, protein-infused-poof.  I honestly don't know.  I just know that I can maintain my weight much easier when I start the day off with a smoothie.  Even if it's cold outside.

Note to all those people who prefer to 'chew your calories': I totally understand and respect that sentiment.  I feel the same way, so this is where thick smoothies come into play.  They can be eaten with a spoon from a bowl with all sorts of delicious toppings for chew and crunch.  I do this every day. I cannot just sip a liquid smoothie and call it good- I need the crunch as well.  Even my mouth needs to exercise!

So here is a short video with a cameo appearance by someone very special.

If it would be helpful to readers, I can do future tutorial-style videos. I believe that the difference between a mediocre smoothie and a great smoothie is in the add-ins and flavorings (as well as the gums).  Feel free to leave me a comment if you have any questions you'd like me to address. With a little creativity and perseverance, anyone can make a great smoothie.  

Q:  Do you get your smoothie on?  Rain or shine? Have you found them helpful? Which is your favorite? 

Notes in Normalcy from a perfect stranger

The other day, I decided to take myself off on a hike, as I do regularly. I enjoy hiking alone. It's quiet. It connects me to nature while I burn some calories. It's good for the mind and body.

So at the beginning of my estimated 1.5 hour hike, I encountered another hiker. She was standing on the side of trail drinking some water and taking a rest. She asked me some random question about the trail. I answered and scooted past her.

Soon I realized that the other hiker was on my heels and had no intention to pass me nor hang back at a respectable distance. At first I was somewhat perplexed. Wouldn't she want to be alone like I did? It's sort of like arriving at the gym locker room to find only one other woman present, and then going up and taking the locker right next to hers. I thought it was a bit odd. (It turns out that she was nervous about hiking alone.)

We began chatting and it turns out that she was visiting from Vancouver, Canada. She seemed easy-going and nice. We had a lot of little things in common and stayed together for the duration of the hike. In fact, at one point that I wanted to continue up the mountain, she decided to rest and wait for me. She wanted to avoid getting over-heated as it was much warmer than her usual hikes. She was in good shape, but was listening to her body.

• Note #1: Listen to your body.

It was to be her last full day in town and became obvious to me that she had no plans, so I offered for her to join me later in the day for some activities that I had planned for myself. She gladly accepted.

One of the activities was a self-guided walking tour of numerous Inns and Hotels in the area (called the Palm Springs Walk of the Inns). Little did I know that each location offered up varying degrees of sweets: cookies and cakes- and a wide variety of them. After nibbling at the first two locales, my companion announced that she had also consumed some chocolate earlier in the day and really did not feel like having any more sweets, but was in need of something savory. She stopped eating the cookies. I did the next best thing: I had a bite of the ones that looked truly amazing and/or home made.

• Note #2 Listen to your stomach.

Spencer's at the Mountain

The mid-century modern Chase Hotel (redesigned on HGTV)

My new Canadian friend at the Del Marcos Hotel

After the Walk of the Inns, we continued onto the weekly Village Festival, which was fun for me as I don't go often enough. Finally, we got hungry and ended up at Johannes, which is a restaurant not to be missed (in my opinion.)

Two other bloggers have joined me here: Tiffany and Allie.

Now, here is the next part that you need to know: My new friend is 'normal' when it comes to eating and exercise. Unlike me, she has never dieted in all of her 53 years. She hikes because she enjoys it while getting some fresh air. She has maintained her normal weight her entire life in this manner. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE FASCINATE ME!

So here we were at the finest restaurant in town and I was curious to see how she would order. She suggested sharing. And not 'diet food'. She was intrigued by the specialty of the house: the wiener schnitzel, which is thinly pounded breaded and fried veal. This would absolutely and positively not have been my first choice, although I've been dying to order it for years. I usually find an interesting-yet-healthy dish like scallops or even some unusual meat. When I suggested ordering a salad to split as well she announced "oh yes, I haven't had any greens today... that sounds great." She didn't say "Oh yes, I need to fill up my belly for the fewest calories as possible" which is what I was thinking.

• Lesson #3: Give your body what it really wants.
  

We also split a half-bottle of wine (which amounts to just over a glass each), split a dessert sampler as well as enjoyed the amazing bread and spread. And it was just enough. In Swedish, there's a word for it: " Lagom". There is no direct English translation but roughly, it is "just enough" or "in moderation." Perfect.

Little did my new friend know that I was quietly observing her behaviors, but she provided a great reminder about approaching food and exercise in a normal, balanced way. Not only that, but I made a friend along the way. And I finally got to order the wiener schnitzel. I just love a healthy dose of serendipity.

Q: How has serendipity affected you? Do you listen to your body and cravings? How do you approach 'free' food when it's placed in front of you? Do you like to check out inns and small hotels?