First of all, I want to credit Charlotte over at The Great Fitness Experiment and Lara at Thinspired Blog for posting about this topic. It started a very interesting dialogue in their comments sections and got my my brain really burning grey matter ever since I read them. I realized that I had quite a bit to say about the topic, and decided to blog about it myself. Hmm, sit back, wait for others to have great ideas, then steal them. Good gig, this blogging.
Oh, and since this is such a wordy post, I'm going to include some totally random photos that have nothing to do with the "the last ten pounds". This should keep you sufficiently entertained and ensure that your eyes don't pop out of your skull from excessive amounts of reading.
Random Postcard Photo:
Banff Springs December 2009 (view from our hotel room- how awesome was that?)Random picnic lunch photo in Banff while lunching on a snowshoeing adventure: I call this
"The Lavosh that Ate the Mountain":
"The Lavosh that Ate the Mountain":
My favorite part about this is the bloody (raspberry jam) fang- GRRRRrrrr!
LashCicles in Banff Springs
First of all, let me just start off by giving you the perspective of someone in need of losing more than 10 pounds. Having been 90 pounds heavier than I am today, I can tell you that when I would hear a non-obese person lament about being over their ideal weight, it made me want to strangle them. Truly, it was maddening. Could they not see that while they had their pathetic little 10 ir 20 vanity pounds to lose, that I was clinically obese? Could they not see how hurtful it was to mention their attempts to lose a few pounds when I had dozens upon dozens to lose? If they were unhappy with their bodies, can you even IMAGINE what they thought about MINE!? Ironically, we were both unhappy in our bodies, despite the obvious differences in size.
Random Silly Friend Photos:
These are my friends. Actually, they are my high school BFF's parents and I hang with them on purpose. For this, my BFF thinks I'm nutty.
They wear silly hats in the shape of hot dogs. Waiters try to keep a straight face while taking their orders but eventually they just break down and crack up.Fast forward to a huge weight loss. Three years ago I finally got down to a size that I loved for the first time in my life. My thighs didn't rub when I walked and I could go into any shop and buy cute clothes. I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I was able to maintain that amount of weight loss for over a year. Shockingly.
Random Garden Photos:
Pretty succulent garden in the neighborhood
It's succulent playing "dress-up" as a rose, awww purrrrty
These look like artichokes. Where is that vat of drawn butter when you need it?I have discussed this on the blog about 600 times, but in order to be at my "ideal" weight I had to work incredibly hard and be determined beyond reason. I counted every calorie. I ate more than my share of HJ salads (That's Hugh Jass for those newbies), egg whites and veggies. I also carried a chicken breast in my purse at all times. Oh yes I did. (They are located next to the canned/foil packaged tuna in the supermarket in case you are wondering). I also spent a LOT of time working out.
Ten pounds ago...I was slim. I was also carrying a ton of food in my diaper-bag-cum-cooler. Here I am downing a shake on my way into a restaurant for breakfast. I would eat at restaurants, but not enough to fill my belly. So I came home and immediately hit the fridge. My good friend, Ron (above) asked if I had a worm! :-)Random Bad Kitty photos:
Um? In the cupboard, under the cereals...
So inappropriate. Beyond inappropriate. No words.The last couple of years I realized that I couldn't live life that way any more. I loosened the reins a bit and tried to eat more "intuitively"...you know...how 'normal' people eat? I tossed the Purse Poultry and ditched my obsessive calorie counting, which was driving me bonkers. I also decided to leave the blender at home when I traveled. So guess what happened?
Random Wii Fit Photos:
Apparently, Derek and I are having a chat between sets
Oops, My eyeball seems to have fallen out of its socket - I hate when that happens. Derek seems to find it amusing.I'd love to say that everything stayed just the same and that I didn't gain an ounce. But that did not happen. So now I am in that group of people who would just love to lose those last 10 pounds. Yes now I'm one of those people who are very, very annoying to larger people.
Random Babysitting Photos:
Yeah, we're good at that babysitting thingThe irony of it is that I should be doing backflips with joy to be at a 90-pound weight loss. To paraphrase part of my comment to Charlotte on her post the other day: I've tasted (sorry) the sweet (sorry) nectar (sorry) of being at the 100-pound loss, and it rocked. Well, some of it rocked. The rest of it didn't: losing my period, jacking up my thyroid levels, being chronically cold, carrying my weight in food in a cooler all the time, being a BeeOtch to the hubs, and worrying my poor Mom who preferred me with a little meat on my bones.
Random Candy Porn Photos:
Just a small smattering of what Derek brings back from the UK each time he goes there. Let's just say we should own stock in Tesco's..
Spot the cell phone for size comparison. Oh, and by the way, do you think that Derek is fat? Uh, nope.So now I get back to the title of the post: The Last Ten Pounds...Is it Worth it?
That, my friends is the question of the day. It's rhetorical in ways, and it's food (sorry!) for thought. I still do not have the answer. If I could magically be as slim as I was 3 years ago without the suffering, you know I'd be there like uh, yesterday. Sadly, I don't think that it will ever happen. Yet wanting to lose weight is still front and center on my mind. Always.
Random "Movie Club" photos: (you know, like a Book Club, but with movies instead?)
For my turn, I chose A Streetcar Named Desire
Do you rely on the kindness of strangers?
It's getting hot in herre (not a typo...name the artist)
I forced my family to wear wife-beaters
Steven & Dad channeling their inner Brando
My Familia- they rockSo onto the next best thing: balance? Split the difference? Be reasonable? Do the best I can? Maybe lose a few pounds. Maybe not. Accept myself as I am? Love myself even with saddlebags? Sorry to make you endure the spewage from my brain, but I figure that if it's running through my mind, it might be running through yours as well.
Random Fave Outdoor Workout Locales:
"My" Staircase. Love it here.
Malibu Bluffs Park: Jump some rope, spot some dolphins...it's all good.I have one theory on this subject that I will share (forgive me if a zillion other people before me already had this theory). Sometimes I think that it's just easier to spend your time and energy on things of lesser importance (obsessively counting calories, smaller jeans size, losing weight) rather than dealing with the unpleasant things that DO matter: horrific earthquakes, sickness, death, suffering etc. Just my little theory. Can I have an honorary PhD?
Random Coffee Porn Photo:
Lurrrrrve me some foam with sprinklesDo yourself a favor if this topic is of interest and check out Lara's and Charlotte's posts. And then come back and leave me a comment if you'd like. I'm all ears.
Q: Obviously: The "Last Ten Pounds"...is it worth it to you? And if you are heavier than today's society's version of "ideal", do you want to smack me upside the head right now? If so, know that I "get it".
29 comments:
I think it is important to remember that 10 lbs to someone is sometimes very important and we should never judge them. Especially is they are short (like me), 10 lbs can be like 20 on someone else. That being said, I think we have to look at if it's REALLY 10. My weight fluctuates 4-5 lbs every day depending on what I eat, if I get in all my water, etc. It is so rare that we are always at the exact same weight. I do think we need to be a little more accepting of ourselves. :) Love this post.
This struggle is the exact reason why my husband threw out our scale (I was kidding when I told him to get rid of it...I never thought he would really trash it!)
I hate that a few vanity pounds can bother me so much, but the truth is they do! My mom was morbidly obese for the majority of her life and is a recovering food addict. I guess somewhere deep down I want to ensure that never happens to me...
Honestly I have been much happier the last few weeks with the scale gone. I didn't stress as much about holiday "weight gain" and just hit the weights, cleaned up my diet, and got back to the grind. Anyway after writing you a novel I suppose my point is--I feel ya! I wish I had the answers...because really even though I don't know the numbers I still stress about those "skinny jeans" Charlotte mentioned in her last post.
My first quick thoughts are that living in a place of peace is more important than those last 10 lbs. So you either make peace with them or live in frustration to get rid of them. The human body is a funny thing, especially a body that's "allowed" a lot of weight to drop off. As you know, it wants to self-preserve. If you can fuel it adequately and lose the last ten lbs and find peace, of course, that would be ideal (obviously only if the last ten lbs is a realistic goal). For me, my "living"goal is way above what books, sites etc say is "right" for my height, but I know what's realistic for me and my body after years of struggling with it. It's still gonna take a lot of work to get there, but, hopefully, can be maintained while living a well-rounded life.
Thank you for this, Deb!
There are a lot of people who are clinically obese and don't think they can get that kind of weight off EVER, and feel hopeless and probably kind of hateful at you right now.
But then there are about ten bazillion of us who look at our bodies and do that, "Man, if only I could stop doing ____, I would look so much better".
And maybe that's true. Maybe there are some changes we could make to be a lot thinner and more attractive to ourselves/our men/whatever.
But is it worth all that effort and, sometimes, misery, just to look that way?
I fought with bulimia and starvation and excess exercise for a while because of "that extra stuff". It feels like nothing looks as good on you as it could look, and everyone else has this great body that you just can't achieve without drastic efforts.
Life is short! Is it too short to worry about some excess weight, or is it too short to not try harder?
Hmm...
Deb, as you can see I still don't know the answer to your question or mine, but thank you for talking about this as much as you do. It's obviously an issue that many of us think about a LOT.
Your random photos throughout the post made me laugh,and I still love that your forced the entire familia to wear wife beaters a la super hot Marlon Brando.
My thoughts on the 10 pounds...been there, and I know how frustrating it can be cause I'm still there + some. The thing is, I KNOW I am better off now. I look better AND feel better, but EVERY girl likes seeing a smaller number on the scale.
Deb, take a look at your random photos. Compare your face in your wife beater to your face in the pre-breakfast smoothie shot. Honestly, I think you look soooo much better in the wife beater. Beautiful in both, but you look healthy in the beater, and a wee-little to gaunt in the first photo. Don't you think???
Besides, I wouldn't want you being bitchy to cute Luvie. He and CD both deserve us as our best selves!
As I was hauling my brown grocery sack of goodies from my car to my desk this morning, I was thinking, "I need one of Deb's orange cooler bags."
I don't get upset when women who are thinner talk about losing some weight. I just know that I have more to lose than they do, and so I just keep on going. Now, those last 10 pounds...I'm far from my goal weight even though I'm down 50 pounds. My goal weight may not be my healthy weight, so we'll see what happens. And if my healthy weight is a few (read: 10) pounds more than my goal weight, I'll learn to adapt. Being healthy and active is much more important to me than a number!
Great post and great question. Honestly losing the last ten to me can be compared with making an A or a B in a super hard class. You can make it your life and work your booty off for that A or you can work hard, learn a lot but still enjoy your semester and make a B. I think A LOT of it depends on your personality and your lifestyle. I more of a B kinda person. That probably explains why I, too still want to lose that last ten.
Oh Deb, you said it SO WELL! This: "If I could magically be as slim as I was 3 years ago without the suffering, you know I'd be there like uh, yesterday. Sadly, I don't think that it will ever happen. Yet wanting to lose weight is still front and center on my mind. Always." is exactly how I feel too. Thanks again for continuing this discussion in such a meaningful way!
Great post, Deb! I have the "Last 25 pounds" to lose. I don't think I look "fat," but I definitely know I can look better and FEEL better. My personal opinion on the matter is if we can get there the healthy and happy way, then it's meant to be, but if not, then we need to give up the dream. Life is too short to feel constantly deprived and cranky.
I was thinking maybe you could change up your diet or something to lose the last 10 pounds. Then I got to the part where you mentioned your period stopped. No, no, no.
You are healthy, and have come a far way. You've already last the ten pounds. Enjoy that achievement :-)
"Lurrrrrve me some foam with sprinkles"--I'll take that and drink it, now!
Seriously, wonderful post, Deb. And clearly, it does matter. To you and to most others, or we wouldnt have these epic convos on it. However, it "shouldn't" matter. But as society, as women mainly, we do let it matter.
I am not in need to lose any weight, much less not 10 lbs. And I have health issues but would gladly weigh 10 lbs more if someone wanted to take my health issues away :) but since that cant/wont happen, you just have to find that elusive "balance". I am beginning to think that word is soooo over used lately :)
xoox
i love this post! 10 lbs can be SO different to everyone, like Jess said especially depending ontheir height! (I am 5'2' so 10 lbs would look like much more) that being said it is So important that we accept ourselves for our beauty inside and out
it really hit home to me when you said you would eat all the time, you would go out then come home and eat, then you realized how to eat intuatively, like normal people do. I was calorie counting for WAY to long and just missing out on life! then I began to eat intuatively and felt so much better. it is all about finding that happy medium and this was such a great post. I loved reading every word!
The last 10lbs to me would be worth the personal sense of accomplishment. I've lost 30lbs so far and have 20 more to go before I'm in a healthy weight range for my height.
Once I'm in the doctor recommended range I'll be happy.
For now, I've got work to do!
Btw, I love the randomocity of this post. Deb, you rock chicky.
Jessica- yes you and Naomi pointed out that 10 pounds can be quite a bit more for someone who isn't as tall. Guess I mean those last vanity pounds- whether it's 5, 10 or 20ish.
Therese- hilarious that your hubs took you on your word and threw the scale away! :-)
Carbz- finding peace- what a great term for it.
Becca- thanks for sharing your story. And yes, obese folks might be hating on me now, but I am testimony that you can lose weight, but you have to be ready for it.
Heabs- yes CD and Luvie deserve better than that :-)
Erin! Congrats on the 50- that is fabulous! Sounds like you've got a great attitude.
Brittac- great analogy to getting A's & B's. You are right- there is a perfectionist streak there.
Charlotte- thanks for the great post that rekindled my love (hate?) for this topic!
Em- yes, feeling good is the whole point!
Averie-yes balance is used so often, I think b/c we need to strive for it. Kinda like we need to avoid "stress" :-)
Lucinda- thanks for the comment. no period=no good.
Tired- YOU rock! 30 pounds is a great achievement. wonderful. And I love the word "randomocity"- thanks for the sweet comment! :-)
First, I read your comment on Heather's latest post, and must admit that while I find earthquakes exciting (memories of the Northridge 'quake, I feel, are to blame for this: huddling under the doorway with my family and my late, great, at-the-time puppy Jazzy and having to consume the milk in the fridge in record time so it did not go bad....it was Nestle Quik for me day in and day out!!), the fact that we live over a HUGE faultline that WILL one day blow scares the crap out of me. I believe in reincarnation (I know, not very jewish of me...oops) and really hope that future-me lives far away from any natural disasters. Far, far away. Like the moon.
Second, I adore this post. While one person's problems, ie a lemon car like mine, are huge to that person, they are small when looked at through another's eyes, ie someone who does not own a car...whose problems are NOTHING to another person ie someone who is literally LIVING OUT OF their car. Point is that problems are relative. Everyone is entitled to their own problems, though, and just because they are not bigger does not mean they are trivial in the least. If we all just strive for gratitude at least once on a daily basis for the things we DO have that are unrelated to our woes...well, I feel that is a lot better than trying to talk ourselves out of our problems by comparing to others. Everyone is allowed their own personal highs and lows - that goes for body image and weight as well.
I lost about 25 lbs five years ago, and just in the last year I have creeped up those g&%#d^$#&$mn 10-12lbs.....which is funny, since this weight was my original goal five years ago. However, since I maintained a lower number for almost four years, I find myself frustrated and actively trying to peel it off. I know that I "shouldn't" worry about this weight, and to others it is trivial, almost laughable. But like you said, it will never NOT be at the front of my mind. My desire at present is a simple 6lbs, a happy medium (in which my clothes fit better!), and a headspace in which I am loving myself 98% of the time. That 2% is there for a reason -- how would we ever appreciate ourselves if we DIDN'T have our "ick" days every so often??
Life is too short NOT to make sure you are hot stuff IN YOUR OWN EYES :-) :-)
Two more things. Your random pics are ahmayzing. I need to do this when I publish my novel-length musing posts. And also, now I want to have a Brando party. With wife beaters. That sounded wrong.
Oh jeez. That was long. I'll go and hide now.
Katie- loved your Moby Dick length comment- you can leave those ANY TIME! Sounds like you moved the goal post for yourself when you lost the weight (turns out now that you mention it, that's ExACTLY what I did-I'm currently at my "old" goal weight). Interesting- thanks for the great comment!
And I highly recommend wife-beater themed Brando parties- they're just plain fun.
LOVE. i was "saving" this post to read when i could fully devour your words.. aka not read it at work or on my phone. let me say: worth the wait! or the weight? bwhaha. nerdy bean over here.
anywho~ great thoughts on the last 10. i, too, am one of THOSE people. but more often than not, i realize that desserts with family and indian food with friends and ice cream with marshall is just more fun than being a pain in the bum and a stick in the mud.
when i am preparing for jamaica.. on the other hand.. i am a huge asshole when it comes to cheating on my eating and workouts.. but to me, that's worth the P.I.T.A.
BUT.. after going through a chicken in the purse phase.. i try to live my life in moderation. unfortunately i dont think i can ever eat like a "normal person"~ ("what are you doing?!" i think as i look at my 110 lb friend's dinner selection.. "you are having FOUR different carbs with your meal and NO protein?! and don't think anything of it?!" and she manages to stay at 100? no fair) i will always be mindful of what i am eating and how much and all that.. but i think i am better at "breaking" my "rules" if you know what i mean.
anywho, thanks for the food for thought, deb. i need to go to bed.. but i sure do love you!
Love how the pictures of the mountains, beautiful! Oh the 10lbs that many people struggle with. I think everyone needs to do what is best for them. Only you know if you need to lose the 10 pds or not. I used to be crazy about weight,etc. But lately I have really been enjoying life and my new eats, that my weight really doesn't bother me anymore. Though, I know it is a touchy subject for so many women. It is all about finding balance and what works for you. Keep up the great work :)
thank you fer delurking! made my morning!
and lordylordy I could go on and on about those last ten but its as simple as this for me when I work with clients:
do TODAY. NOW. What you can envision doing forever. and ever. for decades. till your Miz' age and beyond :)
Carla
Hey, I don't know what took me so long to check out your blog since all my favorite bloggers LOVE you, but here I am and this was a GREAT post. I've been there...and I'm there now...I was the overweight girl who would get SO mad when people talked about wanting to lose weight and they were smaller than me. I've been the "normal" weight girl who wants to lose the last 10 lbs. Then I lost it, gained 4 back over the holidays, so now I want to lose 5 just for good measure. I can probably count on one hand the DAYS I didn't want to lose weight and I don't know when that will change. But the part I agreed with SO much was the "space in the brain" thing. I spend SO much time thinking about all that stuff that sometimes I wonder what I would do or what I could accomplish if I focused on something else for a change...especially since I am in the "healthy" range. Thank you SO much for writing down exactly the way I feel about this topic...I can link to it and say, "read this."
Oh Deb I can't tell you how much I love, love, love, LOVE this post. I don't even know where to start. I am always one of those people who wants to lose 5-10lbs...as soon as I lose those 5-10lbs I seem to stay there for about 15 mins before I'm back up where I was before. I think a lot of that has to do with "accidentally" losing the weight (not eating because of stress/emotional issues, not focusing on food, etc). Then my body rebels and I can't STOP eating.
You're exactly right in that the question to ask yourself is - "is it worth it." For some people it is. You also hit the nail on your head when you mentioned that focusing on counting calories, jeans sizes and the number on the scale is a distraction. Not just from world-wide issues, but also from issues in our lives. Unfortunately I often think that's how eating disorders start. When I was anorexic (or so they said) I controlled my weight and every single thing I put in my mouth because I couldn't control everything else. Then when I started bingeing I found myself eating to avoid dealing with what was really going on. Either way, food was my distraction.
I really struggle sometimes because as a personal trainer I feel like I SHOULD be one of those calorie-counting, egg-white-eating, plain-chicken-breast-toting people. I feel like I should be a lot leaner and more muscular than I am, even though I'm fit and look fine the way I am.
On the other hand, I gave up calorie-counting like you did and really REALLY don't want to go back. What gives me some hope is that I used to train a female client who struggled with dieting, obsessive calorie-counting and bingeing for years and years of her life. She is now at her thinnest and looks unbelievably fit. She works out 2 a week for 30 mins with weight and runs. That's it - and like I said - she looks amazing. She doesn't ever count calories, she tries to be healthy, but she doesn't obsess. She always assures me that I, too can be free of it all. It just takes a lot of practice and deciphering between emotional and physical hunger.
Holy hell...I get behind on a few posts and I write a novel. I might as well just post this as a new entry on my blog! :)
P.S. - LOVE the random pics, especially the one of Sam in the cupboard. That is my Louise!
I currently struggle with the last 5lbs. Once I got to my current weight, I realized what it would take to get the "slim" body I always wanted. I realized that meant skipping beer when out with friends, going to bed at ungodly hours so I could get up at the buttcrack of dawn everyday to work out, and overall just being a reclusive, bitchy person. What's the point in doing all that work and not have the joy of showing it off? I'll take the extra 5 lbs, thanks :)
I made a smoothie you would have been proud of today lovely lady and if you have the time I defo think you should give it a go!
www.saladandsequins.com/2010/01/another-week-gone.html
x Tam x
I can't believe I didn't know you when you had a wife beater party! Aaaack, soooooo freakin' fun!
Ah yes, the insanity of those 5, 7, 10, 12 pounds. I'd rather be overweight (or at least over my "ideal" weight) and sane than my rail thin/sinewy and obsessed. We'll just need to keep reminding ourselves of that when we try on our skinny jeans, eh?
After giving this post more contemplation I wrote my own post. It is not the last ten pounds specific, but it is about "healthy vs skinny" which you definately hit on. If you want to read its here - http://brittac.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/healthy-vs-skinny/
Finally commenting on this post. So much to say.
Firstly, thanks for the mention...you didn't have to do that though! I think everyone has thoughts about this in our little blog world. It seems like a common battle.
Second, as I told you before, I think the random photo insertions are genius. Love the sandwich/mountain art.
Third. I know this was not even remotely the point of this heartfelt post, but I am going to check out those chicken packs.
You are completely right that you should be focusing on the tremendous success you have had overall with weight loss. Really, a true success story. AOL should be interviewing YOU. So few people lose that amount of weight and keep it off (which you essentially have--10 lbs is a drop in the bucket!). I know it's so much easier to focus on the details that displease us. I hope writing the post was therapeutic for you--your weight loss is definitely inspirational to your readers! <3
Had to comment again...Derek's Wii character is HILARIOUS! Why are the male characters so much more accurate than the female ones?! I guess we really ARE complex characters!
sitting at the airport getting free wifi!! at least. baha. well since we are oh so similar,I have to probably agree with however you feel on this subject. I can't really remember what I did exactly when I was "comfortable in my own skin". Granted I have good days, when I'm feeling super skinny, but also bad days when I think I'm the fattest cow on the ranch. No joke. But I know as I get older I will just grow to know myself even more. I think now, its just a matter of finding that happy weight. I don't know how some women do it though.. I don't THINK they drive themselves crazy, but maybe they don't have that relationship with food as us foodies do either.Who knows. I constantly question how this whole thing works. The fact that we can even shape our bodies amazes me.The fact that you AND Heab who are two of my faves used to be 100+ pounds amazes me. The fact that 3-5 lbs seems like INFINITY to me, I don't get. But you wrote this post beautifully anyhow. Love ya! xoxo
The death row comment made me laugh on my blog. Haha.
Post a Comment
Let me know your thoughts!