Why I Chose to get a Divorce

From Costco, that is.

The truth is that I had to get a divorce from Costco about ten years ago. The reason? Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project points out that some people are under-buyers and some are Over-buyers. I fall into the latter category. Why am I an Over-Buyer?

• I dislike shopping for boring items, so I want to do it infrequently.
  
• I am a sucker for a good "deal", so I stock up: In other words "Think of all the money I save!"
  

For me, my 'affliction' penetrates deeper. You see, I love variety. Suppose that tomorrow, I am not in the mood for peanut butter with my Greek yogurt, but I would rather have hazelnut, brazilnut or (THE BEST) Pecan butter?! Well, I had better have everything on hand-just in case! (This is one of the reasons I make my own nut butters for the most part).

I have made no secret of my Collection of ...well...Collections. Just for my smoothies alone I have entire collections of Sugar-free Torani Syrups (think: 17 bottles), Sugar-free/Fat-free Pudding powders, Protein powders, several nut butters, Crystal Light powders and Extracts. Just. For. Smoothies. Then I have Tupperware containers, each filled with various grains, nuts, cereals, crackers, cookies etc. Put it this way, I could probably feed a small city for a year from my pantry alone.

So ten years ago, on my last shopping expedition to CostCo, I came away with items such as a 2-gallon Anti-bacterial liquid soap and a 32-pack of Highlighter pens. For the record, I STILL own these items. Slowly we use the soap. But for me to use the pens in my natural life, I would have to go back to school and earn a few doctorate degrees. Then perhaps I would start over again and get an undergrad degree in aerospace engineering, followed by the corresponding masters & phD thrown in just for yuks. On to astronaut school, where I could learn to fly a spaceship to Pluto, which is where my hubby would send me anyway with all of the high credit card bills. Gah! Too much work. So I gave up the Costco card instead.

I thought that I would never step foot inside another Costco until my dermatologist told me that I could fill my reverse-mortgage-the-house-expensive prescription face cream for less money at Costco without a membership. REALLY!?

So I decided to rekindle the long-lost Costco love. Once I parked the car, I looked up at the large Red and Blue letters on the building. I began to cross the parking lot when I'm certain that I heard violins begin to play. Soon I was running in slow-motion toward the large building and everything went to soft-focus. Or perhaps it was the 110-degree heat and I was dehydrated and delirious.

The Angels Sang

I told the Über-serious membership guards (!) that I was merely going to the pharmacy, yet once I was sure that I was out of their sight, I broke free and started running up and down the aisles, taking photos of items that I wanted to buy but could not. I did not even TEMPT myself by going over to the nut-butter and Greek yogurt aisles or I might have broke down and sobbed like a baby in public. Not pretty. Behold unrequited love, people:

Hadley's is a local nut/date farm. Downside: I don't think that it's organic :-(

This is the DROOL aisle

This is the Controlled Drool Aisle

The prescription was filled without incident and I only had to sell a lowly kidney, rather than a lung, in order to walk away with my coveted cream. On the way out I spotted some interesting displays of other services that Costco offers. Check these out...

This grabbed my attention as we just finished our kitchen remodel...in fact it looks a lot like ours! (photos to follow when we get organized!)

Organization is always good for someone who possesses Collections of Collections

Then I came upon this:



Hmmm. Now then. Hmm. That's....interesting. What an odd thing to sell as you're leaving Costco, no? Keep in mind that this is located in Palm Desert, CA...a community comprised of many folks who are, shall we say, advancing in years. However, I suppose that CostCo is just an equal-opportunity supplier: They sell the diapers for the baby, the clothes for the child, the highlighters for the college students, the entertainment centers for the young adults, meds for the aging (and expensive face creams to the vain), and, not to miss a target marketing group, they even sell the coffin you will need on your final voyage. You buy lots of "stuff" from CostCo your whole life, yet in the end, you're certainly not taking it with you. The irony was not lost on me.

Q: Do you belong to any Club Stores? Must-buy item there? Over buyer or Underbuyer?