Flashback Friday: Thankful time of year

Really, we should be thankful all of the time, but Thanksgiving really gives us the opportunity to formally give thanks for our many blessings. Even though I'm a week early, I have been thinking a lot about what was happening in my life a year ago. Just to let you know: This is not a fun post- you will not laugh. It might make you sad. If you're not up to it, click off...I certainly don't mind.

Without going into excruciating details, suffice it to say that about a year ago, things were a bit rough. We were trying desperately to keep our cat of 14 yrs, Charlotte (Sam's mom) alive after being diagnosed with intestinal lymphoma. We went from our regular vet to a veterinary cancer specialist much further away.

We started with oral meds, but when they failed, we moved to Chemotherapy. When she wouldn't eat enough, she had a feeding tube placed in her belly. We gave her blended food and numerous meds through the tube, and at first it was beyond stressful as Charlotte was not digging the process. However, after a while, she hardly even noticed when we were feeding her, and it was a half an hour that we got to spend just petting and brushing her (all the while sneaking food into her belly, heh heh). She was finally stable and actually doing well after several tough months. Ahh.

The mom, Charlotte and her daughter, Samantha- many years ago

Charlotte November 2008, wearing the little sweater that kept her feeding tube from flopping all over the place.

Hey, the girl liked her margaritas. Sporting a cute little sweater (oops, correction: it's technically a HOODIE) to hide the generic white one.

Next, the family had a wonderful celebration of my brother's birthday in San Francisco. Dad and I decided to drive the scenic Pacific Coast Highway and we managed to eat and wine-taste our way up to SF. We also had fun being tourists at his alma Mater, Stanford University. We were having the time of our lives, blissfully unaware of what lie before us in the coming months.

Dad, at Adelaida Winery- one of the best in Paso Robles. Mid-November 2008


Picnic of Champions: Rockin' the wine and cheese, ham and crusty bread. Mmmm

My Bro, Steven at his 'BIG' Birthday in San Francisco. November 16, 2008

The Gang at the Palace Hotel, San Francisco. November 2008

Let's just say that things got rough the day after Thanksgiving. Again, I'm not going into huge detail. However, with the exception of a sympathy week between Christmas and New Year, my Dad was at USC Norris Cancer Hospital until middle of January. That's a lot of time to be in the hospital. His (and therefore the whole family's) experience ranged from merely uncomfortable to outright frustrating to beyond horrific. 'Nuff said.

A week before my Dad was released from the hospital, my Mom, Brigitte, contracted a simple cold, which became bronchitis. This had happened numerous times in the past. She had battled Multiple Sclerosis for 16 years and was wheelchair- and bed-ridden at this point. The day my Dad was released from the hospital, my Mom's diagnosis was changed to pneumonia and her meds were changed.

Let's just say I was a huge ball of stress. I had no idea what kind of recovery my Dad would make, or how much care he might need over the course of time. And I knew that there was a very real possibility of the need to convince my Mom to be admitted into the hospital the very day after my Dad was released. I was as close to 'on the edge' as I had ever been in my life. Seriously.

Mom and me. Thanksgiving 2008

So that night I did what any normal (read: insane) person would do: after crying all night and sleeping for just two hours, I got up at 4am and went to the gym. Completely alone, I found a VersaClimber outside on the balcony that would have overlooked the Pacific Ocean had it not been pitch black, and I hopped on. I climbed to nowhere and cried for an hour.

When I was done, I came home and walked in the door to have Derek take my hand, sit me down and tell me that my Mom had passed away in the night. As I lay sobbing on the sofa, I looked over to see Charlotte (who had been relatively healthy as of late) repeatedly wobbling and falling down. A drama-queen worth my weight in grief, I threw myself on the ground and screamed "Please NO!? Not TWO in one day?!!!"

We immediately took Charlotte to the vet who said that her organs were, in fact shutting down. We had to put her to sleep on the way to my Mom's house where the rest of the family was gathering. So, in answer to my earlier question: Yes, two in one day. Rough. Surreal. Totally unexpected.

I did not write this post to garner sympathy. Let me repeat that: I did not write this post to garner sympathy. I wrote it to remind myself that when I start getting upset about things that seem to matter to me at this moment (like the fact that I've been nibbling on too many sweets to fit into my skinny jeans), I need to recall the things that really matter in life. Yes, I'd like to lose a few vanity pounds, and I'm regrouping for a good effort to eat healthfully and mindfully over the holidays. But I also need take stock of the many blessings that I do have right now.

I have no idea what the future holds. No one has any control over that. I can only choose to try to live life to the fullest right now because in reality "these are the good ol' days".

Q: Thanksgiving 2009- for what are you thankful this year? How has your gratitude changed over the years?